It was announced today that the number of copies sold of ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ have over taken sales figures for the previous all time best seller ‘The Bible’. The author of ‘The Bible’, God, admitted to being “a bit miffed” about this.
‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ (or Sorcerer’s Stone for the illiterate) was released in 1997 and is about a boy who finds out that he can do a few magic tricks and uses his skills a fight evil. Since its release the book has spawn three sequels, lots of tacky merchandise and several million pounds for its author J. K. Rowlings. A film based on the book was released last year and didn’t make as much money as that film about the bloody boat.
‘The Bible’ was released ages ago and is about a boy who finds out that he can do a few magic tricks and uses his skills to fight evil. It also has a whole bunch of stuff in it about the creation of the world and how everything imaginable is a sin, but that’s mostly filler. Since its release the book has spawned numerous crusades, had lots of people killed in it’s name and hasn’t made any money for its author as he’s an omnipotent being who has no need for material possessions. A film based on the book called ‘The Life of Brian’ was released in 1979 and although it didn’t make much money is a lot funnier than either Potter or the boat film.
A lot of people were surprised by the announcement today as it was thought that after two millennia on release ‘The Bible’ would remain number one in the all time sellers list for a while, but it seems that everyone underestimated the buying power of seven to twelve year olds.
We tried to contact J.K. Rowlings for comment but she wanted paying for the interview, so screw her. God however being a complete media whore was more than happy to talk to us. “I have a lot of respect for J.K.’s work.” spoketh the Almighty, “I just don’t think that it has the emotional depth and moral preachiness that is the essence of The Bible. I do have to say though that Robbie Coltrane was very good in the film”. God then went on to say that claims he had threatened to strike J.K. Rowlings down with great vengeance and furious anger were total exaggerated.
At DFTFC we’ll have to side with God on this one, as although we cannot be bothered to read either book ‘The Life of Brian’ was a much better film.
The current all time top 10 best selling book are:
- Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone (or ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’ in the US)
- The Bible
- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (or ‘Harry Potter and the Room of Stuff you don’t know about’ in the US)
- Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse-tung
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azakaber (or ‘Harry Potter and the Battlefield Detainee of Rouge Arab State’ in the US)
- American Spelling Book by Noah Webster
- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (or ‘Harry Potter and the Hot Cup’ in the US)
- The Guinness Book of Records
- The McGuffey Readers by William Holmes McGuffey
- Bestiality, Necorphilia, BDSM and my other favourite fetishes by Spunk-Monkey